This has happened to me a number of times now.
Here I am at a gathering, perhaps a holiday party, with my peers -- other white, privileged individuals of a certain educational and economic status -- when someone loudly announces to no one in particular or the crowd in general, "God, I HATE liberals," or "I HATE ALL Democrats!"
What am I supposed to do? Some one I don't know or some one I thought was actually a friend announces that he/she/they hates me. Was it unwittingly done or on purpose? Do I walk out of the room or engage in a conversation? So far such statements have not been directed at me specifically, but they are hurtful. And where does it come from, this hatred so forceful that spittle sprays through the air?
Well, at least the coronavirus will spare me that experience this year.
Hatred is the tip of an ego iceberg developed over lifetime experiences. Hatred may see the "other" as bad or dangerous, but it reveals much more about the hater's personality or identity.
A study of psychology indicates that hatred is born of negative experiences such as jealousy, failure, guilt or refection with underlying emotional feelings of fear and then anger. Emotions can become so intense that violence can erupt. In any case, suffering ensues.
Make no mistake. Pain and hurt are part of the human condition, but stoking the flames of hatred is a choice we make and it only serves to prolong suffering.
In the words of the Buddha: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. And let's face it, the longer and/or the tighter you hold that burning coal, the more you will be burned.
But his citizens hated him, and sent a message after him saying, We will not have this man to reign over us.
ReplyDeleteLuke 19:14
Well, I am carrying some anger around, but it has not now or ever reached the stage of hatred.
ReplyDeleteI have never experienced such an outburst as you have described. I'm not sure how I would respond. I am not one to blow up social gatherings. And yet, in a personal conversation I would really want to know why this person "hates liberals". My anger comes from frustration in that I find the current political tone baffling. I don't understand Trump supporters and election deniers. But if I question them it triggers their insecurities and they get angry.
I'm working on that "love bridge".
There is that Anonymous person who posts blog comments about how Baby Boomers deserve to die. It baffles me why people are motivated toward ugliness.
ReplyDeleteI decided, after the election, that I would spend even more time listening. So far, in the last four days, I have had four conversations with conservative people. Mostly listening. I've been a little surprised by their comments, and it gives me hope.
If I were a believer in small government, low taxes and "America First", I might have voted for Trump even though he is a jerk. All three of my conversations went that way. No one liked his personality, but they liked his policies. I think he's a jerk and I have just-left-of-center opinions, so I voted for Biden.
I am not sure of the intent of anonymous here, but in my view it can be interpreted as an antiSemitic reference that only illustrates my point.
ReplyDeleteI would point out that there is a long standing tradition of prayers of Loving Kindness in Christian faiths.
On a personal level, I have experienced anger and hatred. I love that quote by Buddha and must remember it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know where the hate comes from either, but since I've joined the cesspool that is Twitter I see it everywhere. Within our Canadian politics, the polarization is increasing and at times downright frightening. Perhaps it is a trait of the me first and to hell with the rest of you attitude that seems to be prevalent too.
ReplyDeleteThankfully I've been able to avoid conversations with the staunchest Conservatives in my life. I'm not sure how I would react.
I think trump has succeeded in one big thing. The behavior of how people now treat others. Like him. There is no longer empathy, kindness or the ability to be civil. In your situation, I would have left. I don't even want to breathe a toxic person's air. This is my last chapter of my life. I don't have time for such things anymore. I don't hate them but I hate their behavior. But for self-preservation, I would leave. I would have smiled and quietly left while no one was paying any attention to me. He was doing it like trump, to incite. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteGo back in history and watch old movies and learn that this is nothing new. All politicians are a batch of money grubbing, world bending creeps. When someone protests another party just tell them you can agree to disagree.
ReplyDeleteI would cower and leave. I someone said "I hate black people ." I msure if you were black you would be greatly intimidated because you could not hide you soul. If someone said "I do not understand liberals." that at least leaves an opportunity for a meeting and understanding.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it awful. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh! I'm glad I've never had to be in that sort of situation at a gathering. Wow! I really don't know what I'd do. I guess I'd move away to the other side of the room.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I think that's why Trump followers love him. He is all about hate and they are people who, for whatever reason, love or need to hate. What will they be like when Biden is in office. Will they calm down? I don't think so, I think they will rally around a cause to hate.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much hate coming from the right, but they claim it comes from liberals. Although I'm sure there is fault on both sides, the Trump lovers seem very emboldened to say or do whatever they want. They are full of anger and hate.
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