Confessions of a Grandma

This is a day to remember my own father.  He has been gone for many years, but not forgotten. My parents with their four children.  I am the oldest.

Once again, thank-you for all the kind thoughts and condolences over the past week. My heart goes out to Greg and Em, who have lost their mother and father both in the past fourteen months.  They had so many tough decisions to make in the past few weeks, but the strength they showed in doing so is a testament to each other and to their parents and extended family. My heart goes out to their aunt, who lost a sister, a husband, and a brother-in-law in the same fourteen months.  My heart goes out to the nieces and nephews who have so many family memories bound to Bill and Liz and their welcoming home. And, of course, my heart goes out to the three remaining siblings-- Mike, Jeannie, and Tom -- and spouses --Shawn and Jean--who have now mourned the loss of two beloved brothers and a beloved sister-in-law. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.           ...

I called my daughter yesterday and got to "talk" to my grand son. Actually there was very little talking because he just was so excited to hear my voice he was beside himself. Isn't that the sweetest? I am every now and then reminded of why exactly I don't move to Florida full time.

We received the call that our sister-in-law passed away yesterday morning. Liz lived with a peaceful dignity, and we can only believe that that is the way she died. I hope that her husband, daughter and son (all sports fans) were able to watch the Super Bowl knowing that she would be with them in spirit. Liz was a long-time second grade teacher, an avid reader and gardener.  She had her roots firmly established and was active in the local genealogy society.  She helped restore their colonial Connecticut home and did extensive research on its history and that of its original (and quite colorful) owners. She truly was a gracious and beautiful lady.  She will be greatly missed.

Christmas morning... And grandpa watches in wonder...

Well, my family gathered yesterday and, while everyone noticed that the house was a bit more bare than usual, it did not have much of an impact on the festivities.  The adults were focused on food and conversation and the children were busy with drawing,  decorating gingerbread boys (which was a fun activity that came in ever so handy to settle them down a bit when things got really rambunctious), and then opening some presents.  By then, it was pretty impossible to notice anything but sheer excitement and wrapping paper swirling through the air.  Kristen and Dane made this tree for me.  One nephew had just returned from Afghanistan, but he did not attend last night because he was on his way to a Giants football game.  My two nieces and another nephew have moved out of state.  It just doesn't seem that long ago that they all were the source of frenzied anticipation for the pile under the tree.  The older of my two brothers now is i...

My mother was born on September 30, 1913.  She died just about two months shy of her 92nd birthday in 2005.  When she had just turned 80, she announced that she would not live much longer, saying that her brain was programmed to last for 75 years so her body must surely soon follow.  This was a statement quite prescient of the dementia that would soon enough become evident to everyone else.  She cancelled her long standing subscription to Home and Garden Magazine , writing to them that she did not expect to be alive long enough to take advantage of another full year.  She showed me the dress she would like to be dressed in for the funeral. When she failed to kick the bucket in her 80th year, she decided she was meant to see in the next century.  When Y2K came and went, she decided she must have been meant to reach the 100 year old mark.  Her mental decline was rapid and fierce after that, though. At the point where we just could no longer maintain h...

Mike's woke up with a swollen and very painful toe on Sunday morning.  He was trying to remember stubbing it.  I say, if you stub a toe or break a toe, you know it right away.  I diagnosed him with gout--something my father had bouts of and something my brother gets serious attacks of sometimes.  After looking it up online, Mike is inclined to agree with my medical assessment.  This is, I'm sure, just another thing that he will fail to mention to his doctor at his next visit.  At the D'Angelo family reunion, one of his cousins was going down the list of who had poly cystic kidney disease that is a genetic disorder that runs rampant in that family line.  Mike claimed he "didn't know" whether or not he had it...and he's not ever mentioned the family history to his doctor.  I have threatened to accompany him on his next visit, and I am threatening once again. The family reunion on Saturday was lovely, by the way.  It was held at Mike...

Today is my daughter's birthday.  It is so hard to believe how fast time goes by.  She's 37.  Her daughter started fourth grade three days ago.  Good grief, I still remember my first day of fourth grade (1957) because we had just moved to Vermont, but my own birthdays kind of stopped after number 36.  Now that both of my children are older than I am, it must be time to revise my age in my head. Our trip to the Rhode Island beach was a fun time.  The weather was iffy, but the food was great and the company even better.  Now Mike wants to fit in another camping trip this week and we have a family reunion (his mother's side) next weekend.   I want to take a trip to see my daughter and grand kids over the weekend.  I have a lunch date, a hair cut appointment and my writers' group on Monday, so that means camping on Tuesday, get back on Thursday and pack for a trip to Connecticut on Friday.  It kind of feels like the ending of summer--...

Grandma duties have kept me quite busy for the past few days and recovering my energy will keep me occupied for the next few days.  I did get through a number of posts on Google Reader today.  It inspired  me to take the easy way out and just refer to the writings of others. Arkansas Patti  had a valuable history lesson on her most recent post.  What a shame that this isn't common knowledge.  In addition, the connection with her "gram" was so poignant to me. I've mentioned my fascination with herbs, so I was happy to read about drying citrus peel .  There is mention of incorporating dried citrus peel in crafts projects with children.  My grand daughter always has a craft project in mind when she comes to visit, but she is also open to suggestions so I'll keep this in mind. Margaret wrote about messy houses .  As we were leaving, Kristen, sensitive soul that she is, said, "Grandma, I'm sorry we made such a mess of your house."...

When my son was born, at the end of the '60s, it was common that the hospital stay would be five days for a routine, no complications birth.  By the time my daughter was born, in the early '70s, that was becoming not the practice, but I had insurance and my doctor told me he'd keep me in hospital for five days.  Really, it wasn't bad.  I got to lay around in bed all day and watch television.  My meals were all brought to me on a tray.  Babies were brought in on a feeding schedule or for showing off to adoring relatives who stopped by in the evenings.  Otherwise they were all kept in a nursery, and the crying emanating from there surely was not my baby.  It was a five day reprieve from reality and after going through childbirth, I deserved it. Also it gave me time for the drugs to wear off. I'm thinking about this for two reasons.  First, my sister called to announce the birth of her third grand child--a boy, son of her youngest son....

There was an article in the local newspaper about the latest fad of people in city neighborhoods setting up small chicken coops in their backyards. I wonder if they realize before hand just how much a rooster crows during the day. I used to think they just sounded off at sunrise to wake up the farm and then just weren't heard from for the rest of the day. When I moved to the country seventeen years ago, I found out that is not the case. One of my neighbors told me that ammonia poured around the garden perimeter will repel woodchucks as well as coyote urine--at considerably less cost. I heard a gun shot the other evening so I'm wondering if Little Chuckie had moved on to another neighbor's garden. Most of the gardeners around here would not have a qualm about shooting a woodchuck. Years ago it was not at all uncommon to see dead woodchucks draped over fence posts--I guess as a warning to others. I haven't seen that for some time and I certainly don't miss the ...

Kristen had her ninth birthday today. It seems like not that long ago--certainly not nine years--that I was rushing to Rutland on a Saturday morning to be with my daughter after getting the call that she was on the way to the hospital. A mere thirty-three hours later (and nine days past the projected due date), Kristen made her appearance. I went to visit on Tuesday and took her her presents. She didn't wait to open them. She wasn't all that surprised, but she was happy. I also got to see her complete her test for her yellow belt in her karate class. I posted a copy of the video her grandfather took of the yellow belt exercise on Facebook. Dane was disappointed that he did not get to come home with me. He wanted to "see Mike," go to the "museum," and stay at "a hotel." Well, I was disappointed, too. It's definitely getting to be time for some grandma days. These pictures are from the last visit here. Of course, after a few grandma days...

Our company arrived Friday evening and we had a leisurely dinner and wine and conversation. They brought Lindt Dark Chocolate with a touch of Sea Salt. One word: HEAVEN! Saturday, "the boys" left for a BMW motorcycle swap meet. Jeannie and I went to poke around an architectural salvage store and the antique mall situated above it. Jeannie purchased a little soap dish and a large green glass blown vase to put by their newly refinished fireplace. We went to the Four Corners of the Earth Cafe where we had my favorite sandwich and iced tea. Then we went for a nice long walk along the Burlington waterfront. When we all got back, we played bocce in the backyard--great fun, but just for the record, the girls had a quite spectacular win. A rout, really. We got up late this morning. A steady rain and cool air blowing in the windows made sleeping in just about the perfect activity for starting a Sunday. I made a big breakfast which included bacon for a treat. We get McKensie bacon here...

I bought this little chest at a yard sale last weekend. I cleaned off the stickers and painted it. I plan to give it to my grand daughter to use either for doll clothes or maybe art supplies--whatever she wants to put in it. She has dropped major hints about wanting an American Girl doll, Julie--something only a grandmother who is well past the struggling young family stage could possibly provide, a grandmother who has, in the past, been known to be a fairly easy touch. Will it happen? Most likely. I got a post card in the mail today from Circus Smirkus. I took Kristen when she was about four and I'm thinking that Dane is about ready for a trip to the circus this summer. Isn't it interesting that I substituted for six days and I can spend the money earned at least twelve different ways? I do look forward to doing some fun things with the kids, though! And it is so true...when I'm done having all the fun I can stand, I can ship them back to their parents. What a gre...

It has been a rainy day here. We needed the rain since we have had no precipitation to speak of since it snowed last month. This has been the perfect kind of rain for the garden, too--slow, steady, gentle. I hope those baby vegetable plantings out back are drinking up. The flowers were ready for a good drink as well. I'm just glad I don't have to drag out the hose today. Mike's sister and her husband are coming for the next weekend so I have a list of preparations to make for that. It will be a good time and we look forward to their visit. Hey, maybe we can go all Tom Sawyer on them and get them working on scraping the deck. Or...maybe not. Maybe we can come up with something a bit more fun to do.

A bright sun rising woke me up at about 5:30 this morning. (Note to self, close curtains at bedtime.) By the time I actually got out of bed, there was such a thick grey haze that I thought maybe I had just dreamed that sun. If you looked straight up into the sky, the bright blue was there, but the haze was all around...smoke from Canadian forest fires that is blowing across northern New England. I went out for my walk, but I don't know that that was the healthiest exercise to do today. I could actually smell the smoke. We worked on the deck for a bit. Otherwise it was a quiet, largely unobserved Memorial Day for us. We had our picnics while camping earlier this week and I went to the cemetery yesterday. Given its purpose, I wonder why some people so happily wish us "Happy Memorial Day" but at least I have not seen Memorial Day greeting cards. I kind of like the Rolling Thunder idea as a tribute. As a kid, we had to memorize Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. Now I have re...

Chittenden, VT Camping Scene Today was a busy one. I made out Sunday morning breakfast and I was reminded of another Sunday morning ritual. Mike and I were visiting his brother (may he rest in peace) and sister-in-law (of whom I can say nothing nice, so I'll say next to nothing), and they toasted each other with orange juice in champagne glasses. SHE explained that they had a champagne toast on the Sunday after they were married in Las Vegas. So they celebrated that precious moment every Sunday morning, substituting the orange juice. This caused Mike and I to look at each other with major eye rolling, I'm sure even though I don't remember that specifically. What I do remember is that Mike and I had failed to celebrate out tenth wedding anniversary three weeks before that because we had both forgotten it entirely. We may not have an ounce of sentimentality between us, but we can, and did, silently communicate that we would not share that particular story at that par...

It's always a packed few days when the children come for a visit at Grandma's house. We make trips to the park and playground. Uncle Kevin comes for a visit with them. We go shopping and out for lunch. This week we made cookies and played games when it was too rainy for a hike in the woods. And we went to visit both the Ben and Jerry's factory and the Echo Lake Aquarium and Science Center . We all had fun. Kristen, at eight, was ready to go home on Saturday so she could spend time with her friends and she always misses her mom and dad a bit. Dane, the three year old, was quite ready to move in with Grandma for an unspecified amount of time. How is it that children nowadays instinctively know how to use a computer? Dane can't read, but he could navigate his way around the interactive computers they had at the museum. I mean, he could pick an activity by the picture, I suppose, but how does he know to hit the start and exit buttons at the appropriate times? Anyway, it war...

We haven't had any visitors from the north this year. Health and money issues have plagued our families this year, and this has been kind of sad. But yesterday we got a call from Mike's daughter. Our oldest grand child, in her first year of college, is flying down from South Carolina to visit for a few days. Venice is hardly a spring break destination, but at least she can say she went to Florida, and it will be amusing for us to spend some time with a young adult. Wish us luck! The big news here today was about a man in his nineties out for his morning walk. He was attacked by an otter, of all things. He ended up in the hospital and the otter ended up dead. It has since been determined that the otter was rabid. A sobering reminder as the beach we go to south of here is rural and is home to a selection of Florida's wildlife. It is such a treat to see animals in the wild, but I guess it is really best to remember it is their territory.