Confessions of a Grandma

No one has ever accused me of being high maintenance.   I do consider it a treat to have my nails done but I can give myself a manicure/pedicure easily enough and since I get charged the same when I confound the staff by insisting "no polish" nail salons do not make it anywhere on my list of essential services. I need a haircut though. There is no way I am going to take scissors to my own hair as the results would be something like this: Google image that captures it! I miss Joseph, who does cuts my hair and sings while he does it. I miss my short and shorter hair. Yeah, I need a haircut . . . or at least a comb!

I returned to Vermont just in time for the 2020 heat wave. There have been eight days in a row now that have reached temperatures in the 90's. It is somewhat unusual to have eight days that reach that high through an entire summer as a rule. Of course I was used to hot weather having arrived from Florida. The big difference is in the ubiquity of air conditioning in Florida as opposed to the occasional window units here in VT.  I have a small window air conditioner that I put upstairs. Fans and window shades keep the downstairs cool enough for me -- not cool enough for most people probably. I met up with my friend Donna M. (I have an unusual number of same-named friends) who is my walking buddy and we walked for two hours. She talks pretty much the whole time and I  kind of drift in and out of listening/being lost in my own thoughts. My first walk after returning to Vermont is always rude. There is a difference between breathing at sea level and breathing in the mountains. It t...

My trip from Florida to Vermont was uneventful, which is what I hope for in most any trip. The traffic was steady but not also moving right along. I stopped for gas and twice at state welcome centers for a stretch break.  I packed all my meals. I had my masks and sanitizers. I had disposable gloves for the gas pumps. I did stay at two hotels -- one in South Carolina and one in Pennsylvania.  I was careful and wore my mask when there was any possibility of interacting with others.  The protocol for Vermont is a two week quarantine for anyone coming from out of state, but residents/returning snowbirds can quarantine for one week and then get tested. I will do that and can feel safer having contact with family and doing the grocery shopping. Don has taken care of provisions for the interim. And he took wonderful care of my house plants in my extended absence. It is somewhat strange because usually I am back for a VT spring and get to see the lilacs and the crabapple blossoms...

I will be on the road for the next three days. I am armed with masks, disposable gloves, a bottle of disinfectant and a roll of paper towels! Good news!! I did get to see two of the butterflies work their way out and eventually take wing. That made me happy.

If I cast my mind all the way back to the beginning of the year, I recall that I was having high hopes for 2020. Almost all of the things I had planned continue to be falling apart. Before all the lockdowns, though, my son was able to make his planned visit. It seems so long ago, but we had such a great time together. He only had a long weekend but we managed to pack it with hiking in at the Mabry Carlton Preserve, biking along the Intracoastal Waterway, a kayak trip through Sarasota Bay, good seafood meals, a visit to Historic Spanish Point and a trip to the beach to catch the sunsets in the evenings.  It was wonderful just to have him here, but I always appreciate having someone to play with too. So good to see that smile!

I have written about finding the caterpillars in my parsley plant. Yesterday I discovered that three babies had escaped. Two were on the screen and one was under a blossom on the eggplant. Today, each has formed a chrysalis. There is a lesson in the metamorphosis. Patience, first of all. Unlike monarchs, swallowtail butterflies can take their own sweet time. According to some of my reading up on the subject, it could be August. So if I make my way back north I will have to at least take the eggplant so I can watch the first flight of a swallowtail. And I like eggplant parm. The other lesson is around struggle. The emerging butterfly really appears to struggle to break out. It may seem painful and painful to watch. Yet tender hearted helper types who carefully peel away the chrysalis end up with a dead butterfly.  Struggle serves its purpose. The butterfly tempers and strengthens its wings so it can fly free. Be patient. Abide.

I feel strongly enough about this to post on both my blogs: Is it possible to watch a white man nonchalantly kneel on the neck of a black man, to watch a man with his hand in his pocket ignoring the clear distress of the man he is so clearly oppressing, to watch his partners fail to intervene even while the weight remains full force for minutes after breathe and heart have stopped? Is it possible to watch that and not feel the pain through your entire body? Is it possible to watch that and not feel a shame and a sadness for the human condition that cries for acknowledgement and release from the depth of your gut? Is it possible to watch that yet again and not feel your heart cracking? Is it possible to watch the tears of loss in another and not feel tears well in your own eyes? And then . . . is it possible to to watch one who feels none of that march to a church waving an unopened Bible in his hands and vowing to heap further injustice on lifetimes of injusti...