I Have a Problem! A BIG One!

 Oh, dear me, what am going to do now??

All these years (72 of them for crying out loud) I believed myself to be a natural born citizen of the United States. My parents were both born in Pennsylvania and somewhere I too have a certificate attesting to my birth in Scranton, PA.

Now, I learn that status is is serious jeopardy, negated by the fact that my parents moved to New York state when I was 3 years old. Probably even more problematic      ---  they moved the family to Vermont when I was nine. I might be Canadian?

An election is coming. Will I be able to vote? I mean I am registered but I also have a vision of the town clerk making an official visit to my home to rip the mail-in ballot out of my hands and shredding it right in front of my face before stomping off.

That's crazy. I am sure they would wait until I was about to place it in the collection box at the town hall just so I might be embarrassed if anyone else happened to be there at the time. (Thank God for masks.)

So it is likely I have been marked as a member of the Deep State and then there is the additional issue of my Ukrainian heritage. I gather Putin is not so fond of the Ukrainians lately. I am definitely giving up tea drinking!!

Not bad enough? My friends will turn on me! It's already started. How mean is this?

Ha! I knew when I heard that you sliced  English muffins instead of splitting them that there was something suspect with you...you Ukrainian shiksa!    And those were not just any muffins but English Muffins like the Queen and Boris Johnson have for breakfast.**  Yes like Sleepy Joe you abandoned Pennsylvania, the "Birth Place of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution."  

I imagine that Ukrainian agents instructed your parents to do so.  The Ukraine had been trying to corrupt our way of life ever since the Deep State brought down the glorious Soviet Union which Putin has missed very much.  And if Putin thought it was good it has to be good.  A lot of people say that it was good.  I don't know but Putin tells me its good, and I trust him. 

Town clerk ripping a ballot?????  ISIS should put your ass plane and send you back to the Ukraine, you pierogi eater.   Fake voter, fraudulent citizen. just like the rest of that flood of immigrants from Eastern Europe.  Cabbage head! 

I shall now go and admire that fine Irish flush I have in the mirror and sing Danny Boy and When Irish Eyes are Smiling and know that I am a real American and I am Making America Great Again and that I never abandoned the land of liberty, the Keystone State, the second state to ratify the Constitution.   

**Some nasty people in the liberal media say that there are no English Muffins in England.  Sheesh.