Thursday, February 9, 2017

Joys of aging

Pretty much every week I receive some flyer in the mail notifying me about the availability of one hearing aid clinic or another.  This is the case whether I am in Vermont or in Florida.  As far as I know, my hearing is pretty good.  Last time I had it checked I was told I had the hearing of a teenager and I assumed that meant it was good.  It has been a while but I have not noticed much change. I keep wondering if I am targeted because of my age or if someone is referring me.

This week it was something new.  "Join us for a FREE LUNCH & informational seminar on the benefits of preplanning your cremation."  Good grief.

Something is always coming up that veers me, however momentarily, from my efforts to live my life with mindfulness in the moment.

Which reminds me that I recently read a review of The Perpetual Now by Michael D. Lemonik.  It is about a woman who develops a severe amnesia as the result of an illness.   She lives perpetually in the moment since her memories are erased entirely about every fifteen minutes.  I think I really don't want to live in the moment quite that much.

And now I am feeling the willingness to get out and explore, perhaps entertain a new relationship.
I wrote a poem to Mike about that.

Dating Dilemma

Growing old with someone
involves a mystical mirror.
Looking in, I saw you
as I see myself --
the sinewy muscles,
dewy fresh skin,
lush, full lips
ripe for kissing,
even as it fades, a hint
of boundless energy.

Oh, how memories softens
sharp edges of reality --
the "good old days"
and getting through the bad.
The brutal fact remains --
so sad to say --
we are not bottles of wine
nestled in Chateau Margaux,
aging to perfection.

Don't think I moan about
growing old...No.
I mourn the loss of
shared memories,
shared illusions preserving
that reflection of youth
because, frankly,
men my age
are just so darn old.


  1. Oh, I am a bit overcome. With grief for you. But I know that is not what you want from us. You want a "go for it girl!"
    Sigh. I'll work on it, as I know you are.

  2. It must be difficult to lose someone who has been a part of your daily life for some time. I've never had that, and to be honest, I'm content without it most of the time. Every once in a while when I see an older holding hands or looking at one another with joy I wonder what it might be like.

    I hope you find who you are looking for....perhaps Mike has someone in mind.

  3. You are being brave to look once again as a relationship. I am a hard person to live with and therefore, not sure I would have any confidence in finding more than a light relationship or companion. Someone I would not have to see everyday.

  4. How wonderful that you are at least thinking about opening yourself up once more. I hear wonderful stories of people who have found happiness with another late in life. You have much to offer--perhaps you will find one who isn't "too darn old" after all.

  5. Had to chuckle with the last line of your poem -- so many old people in my life, too. Am sure they must think the same, as a 7 years younger friend once said to me when I had become unexpectedly ill on an out of state trip she, her husband and I took -- "I have to get some younger friends." I'm sure she didn't stop to think how her comment might have been received as she hadn't yet started to experience the unexpected medical issues she and her husband both experienced quite a few of a few years later. My problem had merely been something I ate upsetting my stomach which could have happened at any age. I just said, "Yes, you must get some younger friends." We're still friends.

    I'm in Southern Calif. and frequently receive advt for burial cemetery plots and at sea, cremation; also hearing aids, hearing tests. I figure their national organizations probably sent out a newsletter with suggestions for how they can get new business - get lists of people, say 50 and up (I'm not sure from where, but probably someone compiles them). Then mail us literature. Boomers, especially. good hearing aid candidates as rock music with amplifiers, advent of ear buds turned too loud with digital devices are killers of the cochlear hair cells (cilla) that are the sensory receptors.


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