This has been a very hard week, as I knew that it would be.
Not the long drive alone.
Not the decisions about some needed maintenance and how much money to spend on it--made alone.
One of the last things that Mike said to me was, "You are an intelligent and capable person. You will be okay."
Maybe so. I have done some hard stuff and I did not fall apart.
Or maybe not. Simple things. I could not walk on the beach...would not have been able to see where I was walking through the tears. I had to leave the Italian market where we so enjoyed shopping for special dinners. I barely managed to pay for a loaf of bread and get out of there. I won't even consider going to the North Jetty to admire the sunset or sit at Pop's and watch boats and dolphin go by or to go for an ice cream cone. I wonder if I ever will.
There was a great horned owl perched at the very top of a very tall Norfolk pine outside the bedroom window and a few doors done. I knew Mike's spirit was visiting. That is some comfort.
And I have been doing some reading on grieving. You know, to see if I am doing it right. Textbook--the good little student in me can be proud.
But I came across this piece by Dr. Ken Murray. It is so like Mike's story and I supported him through it.