Monday, January 21, 2013

Quiet Life


I am in the middle of Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.  Perhaps you can tell from that title that the bias is strongly in favor of introverts.  Since I happen to clearly be one of the introvert persuasion, that is quite okay by me.

I like my quiet time and Mike absolutely has to have his quiet time and would prefer for it to be about twenty-three and a half hours out of his day.  He loves to talk (quietly) but to one or two people at a time. I can tolerate about ten minutes of social chit chat and then I want to get down to business.  I do not mind public speaking although that did come with thirty plus years of teaching experience desensitizing me to it.

So when there was an all New Englanders’ dinner last Saturday night, I surprised Mike by saying I wanted to go and he surprised me by saying he would go as well.  There was a lot of food—clam chowder, NE boiled dinner, Boston Crème Pie, apple pie with VT cheddar—way more food than was actually needed.  There was a lot of noise—people talking and singing along to the music, laughter, and dishes clanging.  There was dancing, but Mike sat firmly in his chair.  I danced anyway.  We were home by 8:30.  We sat and had a quiet glass of wine together and then went to bed worn out from all that raucous socializing.

13 comments:

  1. Sounds like a really great night. Don't we all need them once in a while?
    Peace,
    Muff
    btw -- i answered your passive voice question on my blog

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  2. That Mike is really going along with your whims, Olga - what a guy! I am firmly in the introvert camp, though I'll spend Wed with my chatty girlfriends whom I love dearly. I'll even be part of the chat - so it is with very dear friends, I guess.

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    1. I love my extroverted friends, too.

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  3. Gosh, that is one trait I would never have guessed about you. Like the two of you I do need my quiet times but I would be lost with out groups also. Sometimes it is a hard balance.
    Glad you got to cut the rug anyway.

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  4. I have a theory that people who've grown up in cold climes develop habits of quiet and solitude. It's only sensible to keep the warm air inside. The all New Englanders’ dinner sounds fine if I could've gone and just observed and not had to make nice with all and sundry. The food sounds fabulous!

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  5. I read that book and found myself validated in it like I had never experienced before. In fact I was just talking about the book at lunch today with friends.
    Living in an extrovert world does force one to adapt, and over time I have become a bit more extroverted. That dinner sounds like a lot of fun! Fun is good, even for introverts!

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  6. Did you find anyone from near your hometown? We're going to a 'Wisconsin Night' next month. I'm looking forward to it!!!

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    1. Actually, we sat with a couple from VT--introverts all. I used to live in the town they are from in the southern part of VT and she was my dental hygienist years ago. She recognized me by my teeth (good grief) when we met on the beach here a couple of years ago.

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  7. Olga, I guess I'm going to have to read that book. I have no trouble with small groups of friends, but you put me in a large group and I clam up. And I dearly love my 'quiet time'. Luckily for me DH does also... so we are not big party-ers. I once wrote my brother that I thought "the world was too noisy, it assaulted my senses..." He just said that I was weird... and may have been right.

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  8. The book is on my list also. On a personality test, I am right in the middle of introvert and extrovert. I'm good one on one or in very small groups or speaking in front of any size audience. But a party? Where I have to chat? I'd rather be home reading.

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  9. I am oddly both extroverted and introverted. I need my alone time, but I also need my social time.

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  10. I retired almost 2 years ago and one of the guys that I had daily interaction and usually a lot of private chats and I met for lunch. We probably had seen each other a half a dozen time since but always at larger groups. I was amazed at the difference between our conversation one on one and in a group. We wear much lighter armor when we are engage with our friends one on one. It is the only thing I miss being retired, I had a number of close friends and we usually had a private intimate conversation at one time or another during each day. Now I am lucky to have such conversations once a month.

    Fortunately my wife and I are very close and we fulfill each other's needs for meaningful conversation. We are both pathological introverts. I should read that book.

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