Thursday, March 3, 2011

AHA!

It is funny how sometimes an idea is thrown at me from two seemingly unrelated sources.  It is as though the cosmos (a guardian angel, maybe)  is saying, "You! Pay attention here!"
Yesterday, I picked up a book by Anne Lamott, All New People, and read the intro.  The narrator is under hypnosis and the therapist is leading her back through a series of painful memories until she is remembering being in the hospital after an operation, screaming for her parents.  She is guided to thank her parents for taking care of her and then assure them that she could take care of this child from now on.
Not a new concept--the book was copyrighted in 1989--but interesting.  I decided to check out that book and brought it home from the library.
This morning I opened Google Reader and read Linda Meyer's post about the Bag Lady and the Little Banker.   She recounts her conversation with a money counselor who guides her in envisioning her inner Little Banker, thanking LB for her good efforts, and assuring LB that she is ready to take charge of her money management.
It hit me.  I need to figure out what it is that stops me from doing what I want to do AND I need to look within--not at circumstances outside.  Wow, flash of lightening, thump on head, I could've had a V-8 moment of insight, AHA moment!
Not that I want to do something dramatic and life changing.  I am not going to, say, take up skydiving although I admire anyone who does that.  It's little things.  I want to spend more time with the grand kids...but they are so far away.  I want to take a Zumba class, but I don't have the right shoes.  I want to spend more time writing, but I have to clean the kitchen so I don't have time.  I want to go to the botanical garden, but Mike would not be interested in doing that.
My inner child is not so much dysfunctional as plain lazy.  Oh, there's inner Miss Judgemental.  Well. Somebody needs a talking to.  When I figure out just who that is, I'll get back to her.

11 comments:

  1. Wow, this post was a perfict fit for me. I also need to do a lot of work with inner me.

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  2. Thanks for the reference! I didn't know whether anyone would relate to the Little Banker at all.

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  3. I guess it's true, "we are our own worst enemy". I'm a bit stagnant this morning. I guess some self talk is in order.

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  4. Great insight here. Get someone else to go to the botanical garden with you...is it too far to go on your own? I have gone to museums by myself because I like pacing my views in my own time. We all have a minnie me that we need to nurture and listen to.

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  5. My inner child is lazy too. I'm going to set a fire under her.

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  6. I know just what you mean. I have improved at doing what I like under my own steam, but there is still a good part of me that waits for suggestions and approval from without.
    Imagine how much happier we all would be if we acted like grown up independent human beings!

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  7. Good idea, think most of us could work on that. My inner child is 1/2 sloth and one half a pouty child squeeling in a high pitched whine "but I want to".
    Let me know if your solve the problem.

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  8. Yes, I can relate. I thought retirement would mean that I would do all those things that I never got done or was afraid to do. I have been exploring why I hold myself back in doing some things. I think I fall into the trap of needing approval and not making my own way. I've made my own way when it came to taking care of myself and my children, but now, it is time to find my own way in doing what I need to do to enjoy doing those things that I hold back from doing.

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  9. Wow, this post really hit home. Everyone has been telling me for quite some time to get in touch with my inner child. For some reason I keep feeding her excuses on why she's not allowed to play but I think it's time to listen to her voice :)

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  10. My inner child isn't lazy, but my inner taskmaster is a big bully and she tends to dominate.

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