It is funny how sometimes an idea is thrown at me from two seemingly unrelated sources. It is as though the cosmos (a guardian angel, maybe) is saying, "You! Pay attention here!"
Yesterday, I picked up a book by Anne Lamott, All New People, and read the intro. The narrator is under hypnosis and the therapist is leading her back through a series of painful memories until she is remembering being in the hospital after an operation, screaming for her parents. She is guided to thank her parents for taking care of her and then assure them that she could take care of this child from now on.
Not a new concept--the book was copyrighted in 1989--but interesting. I decided to check out that book and brought it home from the library.
This morning I opened Google Reader and read Linda Meyer's post about the Bag Lady and the Little Banker. She recounts her conversation with a money counselor who guides her in envisioning her inner Little Banker, thanking LB for her good efforts, and assuring LB that she is ready to take charge of her money management.
It hit me. I need to figure out what it is that stops me from doing what I want to do AND I need to look within--not at circumstances outside. Wow, flash of lightening, thump on head, I could've had a V-8 moment of insight, AHA moment!
Not that I want to do something dramatic and life changing. I am not going to, say, take up skydiving although I admire anyone who does that. It's little things. I want to spend more time with the grand kids...but they are so far away. I want to take a Zumba class, but I don't have the right shoes. I want to spend more time writing, but I have to clean the kitchen so I don't have time. I want to go to the botanical garden, but Mike would not be interested in doing that.
My inner child is not so much dysfunctional as plain lazy. Oh, there's inner Miss Judgemental. Well. Somebody needs a talking to. When I figure out just who that is, I'll get back to her.